One night after he was fucking your biological mother, shooting fifty CC's of baby batter into her stomach that would eventually form the compounds that would give you life in this earth, he used his zippo to light two 100 dollar bills, which he then used to light his cigar. Your mother woke up from what you can only assume was the best sex she ever had in her entire life and asked him to marry her.Your father, being the paragon of virtue that he was, politely declined the offer.'Politely. Well, maybe he did know it but just refused to acknowledge the fact. Bastard, I’ll teach him! As soon as I leaned my head against Bossy’s bovine side, a thing happened just as I expected. My free-dangling breasts escaped from their barely-there bibbed confinement and tumbled out; one to the left and the other to the right towards Ethan. I heard a gasp and a quick intake of breath. My fingers closed around Bossy’s teats and I began milking. Other than his first sounds, I heard no more from. ”✧ ✧ ✧Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads: “Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever”“Yeah?” she replies. “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads: “Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last”✧ ✧ ✧Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, “And you are no good in bed either,” and storms out of the house.After. I noted that, at least, she hadn’t stormed out of the flat, which helped my next question. “How come if you were so embarrassed, you didn’t just leave Caroline?”“And come next week as if nothing had happened? What atmosphere would that create with Ingrid around?”“Well I’m pleased you didn’t go Caroline.”“And what’s that supposed to mean Ian?”“It feels like it’s the first time we’ve got to know each other a bit Caroline.”She obviously wasn’t used to my being so pointed as she looked at me.
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